a paper elephant

bookends

noreply@blogger.com (heidi anne) — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 07:30:00 +0000

We have these friends, you see, and I love them very much. We live in our house on purpose, as it fits snugly between the bookends of the most non-family family that we have. In all honesty, I am terrible at making friends. Not terrible at being friendly, which confuses most people. I am quite friendly. I was a church wife. It is a prerequisite. I can turn "on" and be engaging and charming and lovely and it is most often exhausting. Social settings that include more than 3 people generally make me hyperventilate and rehearse conversational topics in my head.

Anyway. Terrible. I am terrible at growing friendships; at taking the acquaintances to the next, knowing level. The friendships that I have have existed for many, many years. The ones I am trying to grow are slow. I like to believe that because of this weakness, there is a rooty richness to those which are present. Yes.

A few months ago one of our bookends burned down. It was horrible and tragic and terrifying and sad. And even though it is only a year that they are not right there, I have deeply missed the casualty of the every day ease of our friendship. It is hard enough to have pieces of them across the ocean for most of the year, but to have even our same-street ones far down at the beach is a slow, quiet drain on my heart.

Luckily, this isn't as depressing of a post as it has made itself out to be.

Last night we started the year the week the season with my most favorite and missed neighborhood ritual: Sunday Wine Nights. This one involved a minor trek to the temporary ocean-front beach house, but it was most worth it. There is beauty and security and peace found sitting amongst my most favorite grownups, sharing bottles of wine, and talking about family and life and Jesus while taking in winter sunsets. The way our year was starting, with the plague and messiness, I was disheartened. I needed last night. I needed the grounding warmth of those guys, the night of listening and talking and time, in order to walk into this year well. The bookends have expanded a bit for now, but roots of those relationships are growing deeper and farther into my earth. For this I am thankful. For them I am thankful.

noreply@blogger.com (heidi anne) — Sun, 03 Jan 2010 00:15:00 +0000

I am not one for goals. Not being a linear thinker, it has always been hard for me to track progress and find success in the steps. Also, I seem to find too much guilt in process, so I tend to avoid them altogether. But it's the new year. And I have a tiny son and family who'd like to know him and time and energy (hah) to explore wonderful and fascinating things. So here's to starting it well.

- blog 3-4 times per week (re: tiny son and fabulous items of fancy)
- walking with the tiny son (and whomever else would like to join us) 3 times each week
- drawing more. watercoloring illustrations. general and intentional creation. perhaps once a week to start?
- house is clean more often than not
- fresh bread every few weeks
- intentionally pursuing mom and non-mom relationships
- visit the library 1-2 times per month
- complete the following books this year:
- Christ Plays in Ten Thousand Places
- Jesus Before Christianity
- Infinite Jest
(and fill in the blanks with the oodles of new fiction/etc. I've unintentionally accumulated in the last few months; i.e. Christy, The Hiding Place, Naked, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim, miscellany Discworld, Teacher Man, Roverandom, Til We Have Faces, The Time Traveler's Wife.... you get the picture)
- make it to church more often than not
- be creative and financially efficient with meals
- wine nights with neighbors
- communicating more regularly with the girls and family
- creative and cheap date nights

That's all I have. My brain is being overtaken by my nauseous and slowly recovering self, as the family decided to kick off the year with the most horrific stomach flu I've ever seen. Seriously. Lost five pounds in one night. Great beginning for the post-baby body plan. Hah.

Also, thanks to my ridiculously awesome photographer brother, Michael Chiaravalle, for the lovely family photo.

still pregnant

noreply@blogger.com (heidi anne) — Thu, 07 May 2009 06:27:00 +0000

I am still pregnant and alive. my camera broke and that severely limits my visual blogging abilities. plus i am a non-communicative nerd. i apologize. (deep bow)

so for the speedy update, we're doing GREAT!!! apparently pregnancy is the one health-related thing that my body has decided to do well. which is ridiculously awesome. all of my blood work looks like that of a normal, healthy person! woo-hoo! hopefully it will last.

he moves quite a lot. it's beginning to slow down, now that he's running out of space, but often it feels like he has his own little yoga studio in my belly. apparently he enjoys listening to joey play music and kicking me in the bladder. also the beatles.

the doctor is happy with all sides of he and i; she said we could gain as much weight as we wanted to now. ha. i've never eaten so much in my life. joey is becoming quite the cook, and i've never loved cheerios so much. the acid reflux had gotten so bad that my esophagus was burned (literally!), but zantac is a miracle drug and has changed my life. it's nice to be able to breathe and sleep at the same time.

sorry it's so brief, sorry for the long wait, but i'm back and off to bed. trying to save up sleep for when it comes no more.

popping

noreply@blogger.com (heidi anne) — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 05:16:00 +0000

I got into bed the other night and Joey said, "Wow, you're really starting to get a belly there!" Being the good-natured pregnant woman that I am, I laughed, "Ha-ha-ha!"

Ha.

I'm only up 3 pounds or so, but MAN it seems like more. It's popping out. Especially at night. Oh the joy.

Also, apparently during pregnancy if you don't have an immune system (due to your gastrointestinal auto-immune disease), you become a walking petri dish. Got any spare germs? Send 'em my way! We've got a party going on in my sinuses! All night long! BYO Kleenex! Fun.

Braxton-Hicks have started already. Odd and only occasionally disconcerting. Upside: women who have more BH earlier tend to have shorter labors! Woo-hoo! I'm still being really careful. My doctor was very clear last time we went (Good solid heartbeat! Sweet!), so I'm being good.

Anyway, here's what we've all been waiting for:

Up

noreply@blogger.com (heidi anne) — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 05:51:00 +0000

Today I slept in until noon.

This is not uncommon for me on days off. It is disgustingly indulgent and I will continue for as long as possible because I have a feeling that the nugget will not be quite as content with seriously extended snuggling as the monster dog is.

I explained to Joey that I don't actually SLEEP until so late, but that I generally lie in bed and daydream for a good hour or more. He laughed at me. Hard.

I gave him a Stern Face.

He hid his Cracking Up Face and played some very loud Irish Punk in my direction.

I like our relationship.

Also, we spent Sunday evening being exhausted, eating chili, and watching Pixar movies.

This is a big plus for me. I've found that pregnancy has really... err... "heightened" my emotional senses. Which has leaned farther and farther toward the bizarre end of things for a Girl Who Is Severely Controlling Of Her Emotional Self. Luckily, the Navy Blues have really been helped by fantastic computer animation and John Lasseter's passion for excellence. Truth and innocence are safe retreats for me. I think they are for most of us.

Anyway, I wanted to leave you all with the next great offering from the love child of George Lucas and Mickey Mouse, Up. Because secretly inside we all believe that it's possible for even me.

and now we're on display

noreply@blogger.com (heidi anne) — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 06:31:00 +0000

Hello 2009! We're back from the cold north, which wasn't too bad, actually. It was fabulous to visit mi familia, even though most of them were/ended up with the Flu of Death. Seriously, Laura puked 12 times, Bill passed out twice, Wil and Kristen had to spend the day in airplane/airport bathrooms, Claire had to spend the day in bed, and Joey had to take a day off from work (which NEVER happens). Yeep! I had the "nastiness" with none of the puking, luckily. Other than the last weekend, it was a lovely, quiet Christmas. Surprise visit from my dad (the first time in our ENTIRE marriage of 5.5 years) and Joey actually vacationed while on vacation. Many movies and chocolates and good times with old friends. Nice.

Due to much peer pressure and "be a normal preggo girl" guilt, I'm going to try and take pictures of my growing belly. Body image issues be gone! Or at least be vanquished to the closet for a little bit! Actually, as I was trying to take a relatively flattering picture of my least-confident part of myself, I found myself excited about this preggo body for the first time ever. Really. So far I've just felt bloated and awkward, but it's beginning -- just beginning -- to look like there might be a 4 inch nugget rolling around in there, pushing my intestines and lumpiness out for all to see. Which is fun. Really. We're having a good time, this nugget and joey and me. Also, Christmas Bella Bands help a LOT.

So here is me and the Great Unborn. Doing well. Tooling around. Tolerating each other's space pretty well.

merry christmas eve

noreply@blogger.com (heidi anne) — Thu, 25 Dec 2008 00:07:00 +0000

Due to the... ahem... craziness of our Christmas season this year, we completely forgot to put up lights. Tragedy. As an apology to the general Christmas community, I thought I could apologize by sharing the following video. Watch it all the way through. And turn up the volume. Trust me, it's worth it. And props to Randy for sharing it with me in the first place. Merry Christmas Eve, y'all.

news

noreply@blogger.com (heidi anne) — Sat, 20 Dec 2008 05:32:00 +0000

Greetings to all from the great blogging desert. It's been a rather eventful fall here in our cabin in the woods.

Brief update:

1. eyeballs are better. thank you steroids.
2. cruised to mexico for an anniversary celebration with awesome married friends. ensenada was better than anticipated. wish i lived closer to several of my favorite people.
3. dashed up to oregon to celebrate becca's ordination. such a beautiful thing to be a part of. even cried a little bit. wish several of my favorite people lived closer to me.
4. reconnected with a wonderful old friend. she came to visit and we had a smashing time. i love how stories change and grow, but the deep inside heart remains so connected.
5. had a fabulous black and white halloween party (i'll post pics later). there is nothing as cute as little white pumpkins in zorro masks.
6. was brave and tried out for our church's christmas play. got a part. began practicing a lot.
7. familia came to visit for thanksgiving. i love them. i miss them. kit's lemon meringue pie is to die for. seriously.
8. had a play. it ended up wonderfully. played a pregnant college student trying to figure out if she wants to place the baby for adoption or not, ends up giving birth onstage (on an airplane). surprisingly funny, quite subtle, very original. i like my creative community.
9. have been a little sick. but it's all good...

...because I'm pregnant.

Surprise! Certainly was for us! You know, since I'm not technically able to get pregnant and all. Hah. We found out October 28th and Joey made me secretly virgin drinks at the halloween party. I endured months of "when you're preggo" comments throughout play practice and suspecting looks from a few friends. We're really excited, especially since the scary part has passed. We are SO appreciative to those who've been praying, and would like to invite the rest of you to please join in. I'm considered "high risk" for a variety of reasons, so we can really use it. I had my 3rd ultrasound yesterday, and the Nugget is looking great. Arms, legs, fingers, heartbeat, I could even see its nose! It's pretty cool that it's started looking like an actual human being. It's due on July 5th, but since it's Joey's baby, I'd be surprised if it didn't come on the Fourth. Because of America and everything.

I am now joining the ridiculous number of people I know who are pregnant right now. Which is fun.

So there you go. Consider yourselves updated.

ahoy

noreply@blogger.com (heidi anne) — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 01:51:00 +0000

So I've been having some frustration with my right eye for the last week and a half. You know, red, puffy, extremely painful, overly sensitive to all kinds of light. Fun stuff. I changed my contact, wore my glasses, etc. Didn't go away. Bah. Joey convinced me to let him take me to the doctor after I spent the day wearing Ray-Ban knock-offs at work and grimacing each time I walked outside. After thorough dye-and-wash job, I found another fun side effect of my intestinal pal. Iritis. Woo-hoo for steroid drops and piracy!

dinosaurs

noreply@blogger.com (heidi anne) — Sat, 20 Sep 2008 04:18:00 +0000

It is not a secret that I love dinosaurs. Not just, "Hey those giant dead lizards are pretty cool," but "Hey, seeing Sue the T-Rex at the Natural HIstory Museum made me flip my lid at 16." I really, really love these guys. Have since my friend Marissa in first grade (who had glasses and a birthday on Saint Patrick's Day) had a dinosaur sleepover party. Awesome. Especially for a 7 year-old girl. A stegosaurus would kick the tiny plastic ass of any My Little Pony. My personal favorite growing up: the Brachiosaurus. He's like the Blue Whale of dinosaurs (also a favorite), even though he's now known to not be the biggest. Also, he's from Colorado. Which is where many cool things hang out, at least for a while.

Anyway.

While digigng around in some boxes the other day, I found a collection of stories I wrote around 2nd grade. Here's one of my favorites. Verbatim. Just in case you think my first grade self is almost as fab as I think she is. Note my long-lived love of Taco Bell (curse you colitis!).

If I Saw A Stegosaurus
As I was walking down a hilll on Sunday, I saw a Stegasauras. It was fat and purpple. I named it Gina. She was nice. I brought her home with me. She had a baby. It was very cute. So we named it Cris. His favorite food is taco supreme.

The picture accompanying this lovely tale was my own illustration. I'd like to send a shout out of thanks to my mum for saving all of this wonderful what-not, and to all the archeologists of the land for encouraging my love of the pre-Barney purple dinosaur.

here begins the deep

noreply@blogger.com (heidi anne) — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 00:22:00 +0000

I have begun the deep clean of the house. Because of how my brain works and actually having a job, this project takes place over several days and is mostly done at night. Also, because I am a procrastinator, my spring cleaning happens in September. Of course. I am EXCITED to show you pictures when it is done! Which is not yet!

So I am instead going to show you pictures of the creatures who have spent the last two and a half days laying on their bellies in the living room and very little else.

Bella and Moses: the Monochromatic Odd Couple.

*for clarification: Moses is my friend Andrea's rescue dog. A big ol' special needs labradoodle who spent a few nights with us while she was away for work. He is sweet and fun and friends with Bella.

visual update

noreply@blogger.com (heidi anne) — Sun, 14 Sep 2008 18:58:00 +0000

Since I abandoned the blog for most of the summer I thought it would be nice to have a visual update of the Fun Times In The Life Of H. You can always see the oodles of other photos I've taken here, but these are a few of my editorial favorites.

Kit completed here second marathon in one year. We cheered and made signs. She is amazing.

Went down south to see the family and Mickey Mouse. Happy birthday mum, hallo to Mickey, beach family is neat.

Ransom women (Great Aunt Evangeline, Susan, and Grandma Esther) are incredible. And some of my favorites. Maybe someday I can be that remarkable.

Nephew number two made it into the world! Huge and Handsome and Hairy! Chris thought he looked most like Joe. Hah.

My Uncle Bernie is ridiculously talented and we got to be reminded of it a fabulous winery show with favorite friends Dave and Leslie. Thank you thank you thank you.

Good friends got engaged! Woo-hoo for the man side of the 12! We are seriously wrangling the most awesome husbands. Anyone who feels that The Get-Up Kids' farewell show is a life-priority is dang good in my book.

Middle brother came to visit! Surprise afternoon! Scootering and sweet potato fries! Climbing stump trees!

He brought the amazing, red-headed girl! Cute and woodsy! Smart and fun!

The monster dog is a little high-maintenance right now. Chewing bald spots. Being barky. Missing her camp kids. Also pictured, Joey's new 57 GMC truck. More on that later.

Painted for wonderful becoming-friends Jack and Nancy. I am excited about next summer just for a dinner with them.

Last night we were invited to a small dinner party with another set of becoming-friends who are just incredible. We celebrated their dying oak tree and talked about communal living and art and ethical photography and being brave and smelled old books. This part of the year is my most favorite.

dr. horrible

noreply@blogger.com (heidi anne) — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 23:11:00 +0000

I am a nerd. We all know this to be true. I am quite a lover of all things superhero, Tolkein, British, and awkwardly hilarious. Also musicals. And mocumentaries. So this greatly watered my humorous, nerdy self. I even laughed out loud a few times. Which is a big deal for me and tv.

Doogie Howser + Mal + campy musical hits = Great Joy In My Soul

It may be quite late, but please, enjoy.

self

noreply@blogger.com (heidi anne) — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 06:37:00 +0000

I am: a moderate I with severe NFP
I think: about scientific theories often
I know: how to build an excellent fire
I want: to be able to sleep
I have: an active imagination
I wish: for the same thing that I have since I was 15
I hate: evil
I miss: my mum
I fear: darkness and indifference
I feel: awkward often
I hear: really loud deer that sound like sasquatch
I smell: my stinky dog. seriously, she is like walter.
I crave: chocolate. chocolate. chocolate. chocolate. chocolate.
I search: for movie synopsis (synopsi? synopsises?) on wikipedia
I wonder: where my slippers are
I regret: not doing laundry earlier today
I love: jesus
I ache: in my hips
I care: most of the time
I always: want to stay in bed
I am not: as awkward as I feel
I believe: in the glory of God
I sing: mostly off-key
I dance: in the kitchen
I cry: in fervent spurts
I don’t always: put away my laundry
I fight: with jesus
I write: as I speak
I never: cheat
I listen: to npr
I need: to sleep for weeks
I am happy: I really am.

courtesy of my mum and kristen and I'm sure someone else... :o)

not dead or illiterate

noreply@blogger.com (heidi anne) — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 21:17:00 +0000

Still here. Trying to upload the thousands of pictures of the whatnot that is our summer life. They will come... promise.

fit is go

noreply@blogger.com (heidi anne) — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 03:23:00 +0000

Much to the joy of... well... everyone in my life, we have finally bought a new car. With air conditioning. And power windows. And airbags. It is awesome and black and a Honda Fit. Joey tried to do this great finagling scheme that his brother does, and it would have worked wonderfully if we weren't buying a car that everyone and their mother wants right now. So we went through Costco instead and saved a small chunk o' change. Wahoo for family businesses that lovingly retain you on their Costco membership. We needed something that wrestling a child into and out of would not cause severe neck trauma (although we apparently have chiropractic coverage with Joey's new health plan -- wahoo!); and that would not break down anytime I drove it alone without a cell phone (the Jeep really has it in for me). We can only praise God for continuing to provide for us and place encouraging and supportive people in our lives. And so... drumroll please...

The Fit. It still needs a name.

Also, tonight was the first night in a while that we were able to sneak a couple of quiet hours just for ourselves (and I mean two) to have dinner and work on projects before the busy evening takes off. We've been eating all of our meals outside on the back patio because it's just so lovely, and grilling most of them because it is too stinking hot in the house. Our post dinner activities: Joey catching up with his Pops and me catching up on my Garrison Keillor while working on a new Sunday School promo for the church (a very awesome, inter-generational, story/Jesus-based sharing time).

Welp, I have to run down to camp to lead a small family group, then it's back up here for a Day Camp Boys hair-dying party. Fun fun fun. Someday I may be able to do my own laundry, but I might be getting a little to eager. Hah!

Mostly Good, Some Required

noreply@blogger.com (heidi anne) — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 08:44:00 +0000

For you: a pictorial history of the last few weeks.

Nephew Number Two (soon to be Kaden the First) is on the way. I flew down to the desert and saw The Other Family who I adore.

The peas are growing better than anything else. I eat them every day as I walk past. We shelled some a few nights ago and mixed it in with organic white chedder macaroni and it was delicious. Would have been better with panchetta though. Next time.

Camp is back, along with some wonderful, wonderful girls. Nova and the Gidge are mine this summer and it makes me happy in my bones.

The littlest brother has graduated. He is smart and funny and responsible and has taken care of so much more than he even is aware of right now. It will be years until he realizes how remarkable he truly is. I love him quite a lot and am so very proud of him.

This is the Man Wing of the Hansen clan in all its honesty. We celebrated the smallest one.

Sophocles the Snail has passed away. He was a shy snail. Quiet, but friendly and sweet. I am sad to see him go.

I've been teaching loads of Red Cross First Aid/CPR classes to the camping folks. The mannequins are creepy, but you realize that plastic lungs and foam faces are maybe not so bad. And it's fun to show cheesy videos full of random acronyms and carefully placed joviality.

These are the books I'm reading. Mostly good, some required. There is a theme to many of them... which brings forth our fun news. We've begun the process of adopting from Ethiopia. It's a year to two year long process, and we're about 1 1/2 months into it. Very exciting, very time-consuming, very challenging, and very much a God thing.

We are happy. We are tired. It's all good.

of mums and days that start with s

noreply@blogger.com (heidi anne) — Wed, 14 May 2008 06:24:00 +0000

My mum is one of the most remarkable people I know. I flew up to Oregon a few weekends ago to surprise her and to get some much needed face time. There are few people in my world that I can have conversations free of qualifiers with, and she is one of them. She is honest and real and raw and so very beautiful. I have always know that we belong to one another, in that very unique young mother and daughter way; and it is her that I will always call first with my wonderful terrible world-changing news. Obviously I adore her.

Part of why I haven't been posting lately is because I cannot seem to find the charger for my camera. Which means no pictures. Which is quite crippling for a visualist such as myself. Bah is what I say to this.

Important things which have been going on:

Girls Weekend '06: Favorite people, good wine, wonderful food, rich conversation. God is faithful and brings much hope. We are messy and beautiful. I will continue to burn at the beach because I am a white-assed americana. These are all good things. I created are invitations for this year's weekend as you can see here:

Yuba: Went to see Chafer and Roxanne and our favorite un-niece and nephew. There is something so wonderful and peaceful about being with people who know you quite well and are just, well, EASY. Settlers of Cattan and dark beer with pretzels and chocolate chips are soothing on so many levels. Even when the childcare ladies at Ikea are a less than comforting.

Memorial Day: The backyard is now freaking AWESOME. Seriously. You should be sad that you weren't over for the meaty barbecue and strawberry shortcake celebration that took place after a day of hard labor. I wish my camera had a magic battery so that I could share. Don't worry, pictures will come. Along with the s-l-o-w-l-e-y growing grass.

Now I am going to sleep. Because I have way to much laundry to fold to finish my clean house project. Hope you had a lovely long weekend!

right now

noreply@blogger.com (heidi anne) — Thu, 08 May 2008 03:25:00 +0000

1. I lopped off my hair. Like a bunny.

2. I've been on a lot of drugs. Not like a bunny.

3. All of my organs are the right size and are relatively in the right place. This is good news.

4. There is a ping-pong ball sized alien chewing on my ovary. We're hoping he just goes away since he's been beaten into submission by the aforementioned barrage of drugs. It isn't as scary as it sounds. Well, maybe it is for him.

5. But I still get to live here.

si se puede.

noreply@blogger.com (heidi anne) — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 07:43:00 +0000

this is beautiful to me.

oi.

noreply@blogger.com (heidi anne) — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 05:24:00 +0000

Tonight I made a lemon meringue pie for one of our best friends. I learned the following:

1. Trader Joe's Pre-Made Crusts pre-made for crappy-ness. The first one shrunk. SHRUNK!!! And the second one lost its lips. Yeep.

2. Boiling sugar goop is hot.

3. Sealing the baggie you are using to "frost" the pie with is kind of important.

4. So is setting the timer.

5. And remembering to pre-heat the oven.

6. When you are short, it is wise to use a stool to put away heavy jars of vanilla. Or to move the pie out from under the fall-pattern.

7. I should have added some lavender.

Sheesh. I hope it's still a little delicious.

one hundred

noreply@blogger.com (heidi anne) — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 05:33:00 +0000

There are so many things I have to blog about right now, so many pictures to load, etc. So instead of doing that and telling you all about the wonderful awkwardness that is my actual life, I'm going to share one hundred random things about myself with you. Enjoy.

1. I haven't had my actual, natural hair color since I was 15.
2. I know what it used to be, but I'm not sure if it's even that color any more.
3. That color was a muddy, dishwater blonde.
4. Ten years ago.
5. I had my first perm in first grade.
6. Also in grades 3, 5, and 7.
7. It was never really a good look.
8. But I come from a long line of hair-dressing aunts.
9. We call them the amazon women.
10. I did not inherit any of the Danish height from that side of the family.
11. I am 5'3".
12. But at my last physical I measured 5' 2 1/2".
13. It was a dark day.
14. I tend to bake in the middle of the night.
15. Sleep has always been elusive.
16. So I read.
17. And re-read.
18. I do not brush my teeth before bed.
19. I hate taking showers.
20. Mostly because of everything you have to do afterwards.
21. And I'm really lazy.
22. I am mildly afraid of cows.
23. The lowing scares the crap out of me.
24. I am not opposed to other domestic animals.
25. I like the Simpsons.
26. Lisa is my favorite.
27. I have an unhealthy attachment to my laptop.
28. Raw almonds with raisins are my favorite snack.
29. Also with pretzels and chocolate chips.
30. There are usually 2 giant cups of water next to my bed.
31. They each have about an inch of water in them.
32. I sleep on my back.
33. With my face exactly half-covered by at least a sheet.
34. I am afraid of the dark.
35. Mostly.
36. My favorite color is orange.
37. My favorite number is 4.
38. I have a tattoo.
39. It isn't small.
40. I don't enjoy shopping.
41. Because I'm cheap.
42. Mostly.
43. I have 6 pairs of red shoes.
44. I have 5 pairs of shoes that I hold onto for sentimental reasons.
45. I haven't worn them in years.
46. They're they only thing I haven't been able to donate to the goodwill.
47. Other than the purple dress and blue sweater.
48. I resent commercials.
49. I love the smell of ocean fog.
50. I cannot tie a tie.
51. My favorite poet in 4th grade was Langston Hughes.
52. I am a pisces.
53. I am married to a pisces.
54. I have no idea what that's supposed to mean in our astrological universe.
55. Maybe our babies will smell fishy.
56. I am currently watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
57. It ranks somewhere in the mid-teens in my Lifetime Top Twenty Favorite Movies list.
58. I do not know how to barbecue.
59. My first car was a Dodge Shadow.
60. It was Superman themed.
61. I now have a Hyundai accent.
62. It is theme free.
63. I have spent significant time in 5-ish countries.
64. I hate checking my voicemail.
65. I forget that we have an answering machine.
66. Sort of.
67. I can shoot a gun.
68, And swing dance.
69. But not at the same time.
70. Well, maybe.
71. I've never actually tried.
72. I love children's literature.
73. My favorite book is "The Little Prince" by Antoine de Saint-Exupery.
74. It is full of beautiful, quiet truth.
75. Much like "The Alchemist."
76. I have 12 scars on the back of my right hand.
77. They are mostly miscellaneous burns and old chicken pox scars.
78. Ewwww.
79. I rarely paint my nails.
80. I love to do event make-up and hair as a gift for people.
81. If I wasn't such a chicken I'd paint more pieces as gifts for people.
82. If I wasn't such a chicken I'd spend a lot more time creating.
83. I need to stop being a chicken.
84. Speaking of chickens.
85. I only like to eat cage free eggs.
86. Because I figure they're less stressed out and therefor less toxic than the other chickens.
87. I'd like to have chickens.
88. But I'd rather have my neighbors be my friends still.
89. I have the greatest neighbors in the world.
90. They are family.
91. We borrow eggs from each other.
92. I am excited about our vegetable garden.
93. I am also very skeptical of it.
94. I don't want to get my hopes up.
95. See, I really love vegetables.
96. And I am really, really cheap.
97. And I try to be "green."
98. But I have a black thumb.
99. Carrots have always been my favorite vegetable.
100. I ate them with ketchup when I was little.

Way to go if you made it this far! Hope you're all have a fabulous day and that you have been duly distracted from your actual life. Love, love!

second response

noreply@blogger.com (heidi anne) — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 08:24:00 +0000

So the lab tests have already been done. Apparently they'll become a normal part of my Hi-Nice-To-See-You-Every-Six-Months-Let's-Chat-About-Your-Colon-And-Puncture-That-Meatloaf-You-Call-A-Forearm visit. Unfortunately they couldn't give me the results yet... only my doctor can... which isn't really that reassuring.

Hah.

As you may be able to tell I've become a bit punchy about the joy of my healthcare. Trust me, I have a great doctor. And we have great insurance, thanks to the state of California. However, being 25 and kind of a hippie, I am really new to EVERY SINGLE PART of this whole she-bang that has become my gastroenterogical life. And the nurses are kind of mean. And I look 17, which has never helped. So getting frightening letters out of the blue with the words HEPATIC LIVR and other intimidating, all-caps, unintelligible phrases on it is a little much for me.

But it's all good. Not in the "I'm-dismissing-this-because-doing-taxes-is-just-more-important-and-legally-relevant-right-now" sort of way, but in the "This actually matters to me, but I'm walking through it well and trying to maintain my sense of humor, even though I occasionally call my mom freaking out" sort of way. I'm doing fine, health-wise. I'm doing much better emotionally. And I'm looking forward to the day when I can pop a pill instead of the lovely topical treatment we're doing now. Oy.

The good thing: I still get to live. My actual life. Which I really love. Along with Jesus. And Joey. And all that makes me pretty happy.

first response

noreply@blogger.com (heidi anne) — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 08:05:00 +0000

I just found out that I have 6 blood tests which need to be done. I don't know why.

Shit.

hello there

noreply@blogger.com (heidi anne) — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 06:04:00 +0000

SO it has been an absurdly long time since I've posted, and I haven't any sort of really legitimate reason why I've been absent from the 'ol blogosphere. It's been a rough sort of month for a variety of reasons, mostly having to do with an old, blue moldyness that wrestles with my heart. But it's all good. Here is a story of the last few weeks:

Joey turned 28, which is a very grownup age to become. We celebrated his actual birthDAY with a quiet dinner at BJ's. He was actually much happier than he looks in this particular picture.

I cook things in the kitchen and end up using half a lemon. All the time. But my lemony things are spaced far enough apart to render the unused half useless. Sort of. So I started cleaning my cutting boards with a lemony swipe after using them for a garlic or onion-ey sort of purpose. It helps.

We go to RAW, which stands for Real Authentic Worship, each Sunday night at 7 pm. It is quite and small and Joey leads music and sometimes I read a passage or poetry and we spend a purposed hour with Jesus, which is nice.

I've been sharing a lot of Pablo Neruda lately with the RAW folks. Joey gave me the Captain's Verses when we were first dating and I've loved him ever since (Pablo and Joey).

Bill turned 50. My mum had an amazing surprise party for him, full of good wine, incredible food, and really special encouragement and honoring. Seriously incredible.

Her cooking instructor/friend/folks they're going to Italy with catered and made the most delicious meal. Authentic, rustic Tuscan. Oy. The gnocci were deep and earthy and full of imported porccini mushrooms... and the cave cheese... heavenly.

My mum and I had a fabulous time together (with the greatest aunt and the husbands). I didn't realize how much I needed just to be with her (and all of them). She is amazing and beautiful and I love her quite a lot more than she even thinks possible.

Joey got a special brew from the Deschutes Brewery for our pubby birthday bash (celebrating he + mark + myself) that is deep and heavy and amazing. I forgot to take pictures at our party (ridiculous, I know), so this is the stand in.

You are nearly up to date on our world. And I need to go to bed. So. Back in the saddle I am. To bad I was never an overly "horsey" sort of girl. Ah well. The fun stuff will be coming soon. For now, it's g'night.