home to the small boy
how i missed you so
my wee boy who
tumbles
and laughs
and
reads about whales
digging to a face of dust
tucked beneath
my chin
kicking kicking
kicking
my knees
home is so much more
of
you
9.29.2011
flying back from utah
3.31.2011
minor toddler tragedies
I just retraced our afternoon trip, scanning the curbs for a lost Leonardo. Drove obnoxiously slow, peering into the grass for a lime green, fuzzy monster. He went to bed a little bummed, but I am incapable of understanding loved creatures as anything less that secretly sentient. I blame the Velveteen Rabbit and an over-active imagination. I'm having Toy Story flashbacks. Thank the Lord for Amazon.
1.30.2011
1.06.2011
no sleep for brooklyn
I have a love/hate relationship with sleep. Always have. I've never slept well, even as a little girl. I have these sleep paralysis nightmares sometimes, more often if I'm stressed or really tired. I used to sleep on my back every night, but doing so increases your chances of having one, so I don't anymore. I miss it. Anyway, I've had insanely vivid dreams of aliens outside my window, of joey being murdered, of the house being robbed, etc with this sleep paralysis thing. Not fun.
Siah seems to have unfortunately inherited my propensity for messy sleep. It it isn't often he ever truly sleeps through the night (not that 5-hour baloney, LEGITIMATELY sleeping through and not having to be snuggled back to sleep at some point during the middle), which kills me, however sweet it can be. He seems to be getting a bit more on that trolley now (at 18 months), but we're still at a 60/40 sort of chance.
Naps used to be hell. there were always a few weeks during the 3 naps a day/2 naps a day season where he would sleep for a full 45 minute cycle (or even an hour and a half!!) for each one and we could have good, balanced days. But most days we would spend completely unable to find success with his daytime sleeping. Joey would call from school and my voice would be dead and flat. Trying to teach someone to sleep has been one of the most defeating experiences I've ever known. I had bought Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child out of desperation when he was around 10 months old (I think -- honestly all I remember is exhaustion) and read it in 2 days. I'm not keen on many of his more severe implementations in the book, but the ideal schedule and needed sleep times were SO freeing for me. I was able to establish more of his routine, etc, etc, it changed our every days.
But then.
There is always a "but then."
I try not to live in mortal fear of them.
Morning naps were amazing, but afternoon naps were turning into the bloodiest of celebrity death matches. Misery all around! And because I am wonderfully brainless, I FORGOT TO REVISIT THE BOOK. It went on for months. MONTHS. Screaming, crying, fighting, holding for hours and hours and hours; the absolute destruction of our motivation and momentum of EVERY SINGLE DAY.
Here, I will interject: being a stay at home mom is awesome. I love it. Favorite job, Full, challenging, rewarding, hilarious and exhausting at every step. However, in order to keep finding success with pre-verbal children, you have to work your ass off at helping them find out how to be the best version of themselves in every situation. And they can't have a reasoning conversation with you, let alone a non-reasoning one where you just win Because You're The Mom. You have to capitalize on the momentum of the small successes you find in the morning to carry you through the afternoon. Momentum is key. At least for me.
So. When we'd have these "naps" of destruction, it would literally demolish our days. Walls reduced to rubble, blackened patch of smoking carpet where the crib used to be. Tiny tragedies of the every day. Finally, I remembered the book. I reread the appropriate section. I shifted a few things. I anticipated a 3 week process (my dear, wise mom friend always advises 2-4 weeks for life changes). It only took a week and a half. Afternoon naps only. Between 2 to 3 hours each day! GLORIOUS CELEBRATION ALL AROUND! THE HEAVENS REJOICED!
And it has lasted. It's amazing. Our world has shifted and there is great relief and success. Deep sighs of joy and gratitude for the eternal hope that the joy of the Lord can be found even within the dark recesses of a tired toddler's routine. The season is looking up.
*Also, the other night I thought I heard him climb out of his crib and pad down the hallway, come next to my side of the bed, giggle, and TRY TO YANK ME DOWN INTO THE DEPTHS OF HELL. I promptly woke up from a sleep paralysis episode FREAKED OUT OF MY MIND, praying that he never, never learns to hoist himself over those weak wooden bars.
Siah seems to have unfortunately inherited my propensity for messy sleep. It it isn't often he ever truly sleeps through the night (not that 5-hour baloney, LEGITIMATELY sleeping through and not having to be snuggled back to sleep at some point during the middle), which kills me, however sweet it can be. He seems to be getting a bit more on that trolley now (at 18 months), but we're still at a 60/40 sort of chance.
Naps used to be hell. there were always a few weeks during the 3 naps a day/2 naps a day season where he would sleep for a full 45 minute cycle (or even an hour and a half!!) for each one and we could have good, balanced days. But most days we would spend completely unable to find success with his daytime sleeping. Joey would call from school and my voice would be dead and flat. Trying to teach someone to sleep has been one of the most defeating experiences I've ever known. I had bought Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child out of desperation when he was around 10 months old (I think -- honestly all I remember is exhaustion) and read it in 2 days. I'm not keen on many of his more severe implementations in the book, but the ideal schedule and needed sleep times were SO freeing for me. I was able to establish more of his routine, etc, etc, it changed our every days.
But then.
There is always a "but then."
I try not to live in mortal fear of them.
Morning naps were amazing, but afternoon naps were turning into the bloodiest of celebrity death matches. Misery all around! And because I am wonderfully brainless, I FORGOT TO REVISIT THE BOOK. It went on for months. MONTHS. Screaming, crying, fighting, holding for hours and hours and hours; the absolute destruction of our motivation and momentum of EVERY SINGLE DAY.
Here, I will interject: being a stay at home mom is awesome. I love it. Favorite job, Full, challenging, rewarding, hilarious and exhausting at every step. However, in order to keep finding success with pre-verbal children, you have to work your ass off at helping them find out how to be the best version of themselves in every situation. And they can't have a reasoning conversation with you, let alone a non-reasoning one where you just win Because You're The Mom. You have to capitalize on the momentum of the small successes you find in the morning to carry you through the afternoon. Momentum is key. At least for me.
So. When we'd have these "naps" of destruction, it would literally demolish our days. Walls reduced to rubble, blackened patch of smoking carpet where the crib used to be. Tiny tragedies of the every day. Finally, I remembered the book. I reread the appropriate section. I shifted a few things. I anticipated a 3 week process (my dear, wise mom friend always advises 2-4 weeks for life changes). It only took a week and a half. Afternoon naps only. Between 2 to 3 hours each day! GLORIOUS CELEBRATION ALL AROUND! THE HEAVENS REJOICED!
And it has lasted. It's amazing. Our world has shifted and there is great relief and success. Deep sighs of joy and gratitude for the eternal hope that the joy of the Lord can be found even within the dark recesses of a tired toddler's routine. The season is looking up.
*Also, the other night I thought I heard him climb out of his crib and pad down the hallway, come next to my side of the bed, giggle, and TRY TO YANK ME DOWN INTO THE DEPTHS OF HELL. I promptly woke up from a sleep paralysis episode FREAKED OUT OF MY MIND, praying that he never, never learns to hoist himself over those weak wooden bars.
11.06.2010
ewoks are the best woks
It's no secret that I come from a wide line of Star Wars-loving, sci-fi geeks. My torch does not burn nearly as brightly as others in my family, but; BUT, I took my long-standing desire to have my very own ewok out on my son for his second ever halloween. Probably the easiest costume I've ever made, and definitely my most favorite.
Leftover fur and curtains from when Joe was a jedi. Measured from overalls and a hoodie.
We took him downtown.
People were pretty stoked. Especially the guys.
But how could you not love this face?
So much fun.
Also, today's favorite creations from the internets. People are amazing.
Leftover fur and curtains from when Joe was a jedi. Measured from overalls and a hoodie.
We took him downtown.
People were pretty stoked. Especially the guys.
But how could you not love this face?
So much fun.
Also, today's favorite creations from the internets. People are amazing.
10.19.2010
hair
one day, because i did not sleep, because someone is getting every single tooth at once, because i am too cheap, because i am afraid of looking like an anchorwoman, because i do not feel like doing the dishes or putting away laundry, because i need to drop some lbs, because i miss dying my hair, because my face is rather broken out, because the aunt is all the way in seattle, because it is all swiftly shifting,
i cut bangs.
i cut bangs.
10.18.2010
rain and steps (of a few kinds)
It rained for the first time all season yesterday. I love it. Joey does not. Oh the conflict of a desert rat and a northwest girl. We even made it to church for the first time in ages. Also, because I am an old lady, I slipped and fell all the way down my porch steps and broke a hip. Not really. Banged up my knee pretty badly though, and scared the sweet potatoes out of my small son (who I was not holding, thank you for your concern). Makes for some challenging "crawl around and chase after me like a monster" playing.
Right now I am trying to teach the very athletic child that blocks are for stacking and not for throwing, as his aim has become surprisingly direct, and I am concerned for our new and fancy tv. He knocked the phone off its perch this morning, narrowly missing the new (sort of) and fancy computer. Yeep. I like my wild boy quite a lot, destruction and all. The most fascinating and encouraging thing to me has been with the intentional and gentle discipline and correction that comes with teaching another person how to interact in society and community and life. He is (for such a little dude) genuinely responsive and has this sweet little nature and sincere desire to obey. Trying to support that and meet him in that way. I like this adventure most days.
Right now I am trying to teach the very athletic child that blocks are for stacking and not for throwing, as his aim has become surprisingly direct, and I am concerned for our new and fancy tv. He knocked the phone off its perch this morning, narrowly missing the new (sort of) and fancy computer. Yeep. I like my wild boy quite a lot, destruction and all. The most fascinating and encouraging thing to me has been with the intentional and gentle discipline and correction that comes with teaching another person how to interact in society and community and life. He is (for such a little dude) genuinely responsive and has this sweet little nature and sincere desire to obey. Trying to support that and meet him in that way. I like this adventure most days.
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