ahoy

So I've been having some frustration with my right eye for the last week and a half. You know, red, puffy, extremely painful, overly sensitive to all kinds of light. Fun stuff. I changed my contact, wore my glasses, etc. Didn't go away. Bah. Joey convinced me to let him take me to the doctor after I spent the day wearing Ray-Ban knock-offs at work and grimacing each time I walked outside. After thorough dye-and-wash job, I found another fun side effect of my intestinal pal. Iritis. Woo-hoo for steroid drops and piracy!

right now

1. I lopped off my hair. Like a bunny.



2. I've been on a lot of drugs. Not like a bunny.



3. All of my organs are the right size and are relatively in the right place. This is good news.

4. There is a ping-pong ball sized alien chewing on my ovary. We're hoping he just goes away since he's been beaten into submission by the aforementioned barrage of drugs. It isn't as scary as it sounds. Well, maybe it is for him.

5. But I still get to live here.

second response

So the lab tests have already been done. Apparently they'll become a normal part of my Hi-Nice-To-See-You-Every-Six-Months-Let's-Chat-About-Your-Colon-And-Puncture-That-Meatloaf-You-Call-A-Forearm visit. Unfortunately they couldn't give me the results yet... only my doctor can... which isn't really that reassuring.

Hah.

As you may be able to tell I've become a bit punchy about the joy of my healthcare. Trust me, I have a great doctor. And we have great insurance, thanks to the state of California. However, being 25 and kind of a hippie, I am really new to EVERY SINGLE PART of this whole she-bang that has become my gastroenterogical life. And the nurses are kind of mean. And I look 17, which has never helped. So getting frightening letters out of the blue with the words HEPATIC LIVR and other intimidating, all-caps, unintelligible phrases on it is a little much for me.

But it's all good. Not in the "I'm-dismissing-this-because-doing-taxes-is-just-more-important-and-legally-relevant-right-now" sort of way, but in the "This actually matters to me, but I'm walking through it well and trying to maintain my sense of humor, even though I occasionally call my mom freaking out" sort of way. I'm doing fine, health-wise. I'm doing much better emotionally. And I'm looking forward to the day when I can pop a pill instead of the lovely topical treatment we're doing now. Oy.

The good thing: I still get to live. My actual life. Which I really love. Along with Jesus. And Joey. And all that makes me pretty happy.

first response

I just found out that I have 6 blood tests which need to be done. I don't know why.





Shit.

colonscopy, schmolonoscopy!

I had my first of many colonoscopies today. Yes, that is a many. You may be surprised to learn, especially after my last post, that I am so very okay with this. A few reasons why:



1. I have the most fabulous doctor who not only let me watch on a very awesome flat screen TV, but answered my random questions DURING the procedure. Even though I don't remember what I asked because I was a bit drugged.

2. They already know what's wrong with me. Ulcerative Colitis. The Proctosigmoiditis kind.

3. They gave me a ton of great info on it and my treatment.

4. The treatment is for the rest of my life as it is a genetic, non-curable, chronic condition. It includes meds on and off and regular (every 3-5 years) colonoscopies for monitoring.

5. Bad stuff: Hugely increased risk of colon cancer. Escalation of disease. Fertility issues. Etc.

6. Good stuff: Very treatable. Very manageable. Caught now. Before it got really bad. Fabulous doctor.

Prep was icky. I had to take these pills that made me throw up more violently than I ever had before. Awful. And the liquid really really really cleans you out. No question. Blech. I was pretty loopy all day from the no-food, but other than that I spent my day chilling on the couch and dashing to the bathroom every 15 minutes. No exaggeration.

The hospital was so nice, as were the nurses (I got the "you're HOW old?! and married HOW long?!" bug-eyed looks a few times). I freaked Joey out by reminding him to pull the plug if something went horribly wrong. He hates it when I do that.



Drugs were great. I was awake the entire time and babbled about math patterns during observation. I don't know why. Ah, well. What can you do about being a nerd? I think I'm just as bad on drugs as I am without food, seeing that I could barely hold a simple conversation at a birthday party last night. My brain had literally hurled itself off of a cliff. Poor Gator.

I ended my fast with ramen and a chocolate. so comforting and delicious. mmmmmm.



Sooooooooooo... thank you all who listened to me freak out and prayed and were so encouraging. I have the greatest friends-family-community. I'm going to bed because my brain is still a little drugged and having a horrendous time spelling.

lovelovelove.

h.

an afternoon colonsocopy for two

Actually, it's just for one. Me. Not 50 years old me. Now me; just nearly 25 me. Due to some... ahem... issues I've been having for, oh, 5 years now, I get to have my first Colonoscopy today. Contrary to popular belief I DID talk to a nurse a few years ago about it and she said, "No big deal, it's probably just stress/change in diet/etc." But now that Joey and I have fabulous insurance my new doctor said, "Yeah. That's not normal. I'm sending you in." Bah for a commitment to full disclosure. Sort of.

The lemon-lime flavor does not make it better. Just a heads up to the ol' Halflytely folks.



It sounds like an afternoon tea. Or ladies luncheon. If only I were so lucky.



Welcome to the new world of Gastroenternology. Hopefully I won't have to dwell here too long.