one day, because i did not sleep, because someone is getting every single tooth at once, because i am too cheap, because i am afraid of looking like an anchorwoman, because i do not feel like doing the dishes or putting away laundry, because i need to drop some lbs, because i miss dying my hair, because my face is rather broken out, because the aunt is all the way in seattle, because it is all swiftly shifting,

i cut bangs.


rain and steps (of a few kinds)

It rained for the first time all season yesterday. I love it. Joey does not. Oh the conflict of a desert rat and a northwest girl. We even made it to church for the first time in ages. Also, because I am an old lady, I slipped and fell all the way down my porch steps and broke a hip. Not really. Banged up my knee pretty badly though, and scared the sweet potatoes out of my small son (who I was not holding, thank you for your concern). Makes for some challenging "crawl around and chase after me like a monster" playing.

Right now I am trying to teach the very athletic child that blocks are for stacking and not for throwing, as his aim has become surprisingly direct, and I am concerned for our new and fancy tv. He knocked the phone off its perch this morning, narrowly missing the new (sort of) and fancy computer. Yeep. I like my wild boy quite a lot, destruction and all. The most fascinating and encouraging thing to me has been with the intentional and gentle discipline and correction that comes with teaching another person how to interact in society and community and life. He is (for such a little dude) genuinely responsive and has this sweet little nature and sincere desire to obey. Trying to support that and meet him in that way. I like this adventure most days.


haiku for the whelmed

malted blue kitchen
enabled all of my life
almost bought a house

trying to be as
responsible as i can
finish paperwork

not doing too well
sleeping like a normal girl
adrenaline kills

a pink eyedropper
ibuprofen suspension
gums and crooked teeth


mr. joshua bennett is remarkable and i love this.

as well as this.

when one is living out their created glory you can feel it across your skin.



from an old journal i revisited tonight:


I am on my way to London, hopefully headed in the right direction. I got on the train to Malmô to find that I could go no farther than the entrance. It's crammed full of people. There is a family of sweet grandparents and three blonde, blue-eyed, lilting-voiced, young girls. An older girl is with them, lovely and beautiful in that European sort of way, but with kind eyes. That is not common. I am balancing on Elly's backpack with my toes against the wall in front of me. I understand the children. They're making a fort of scarves.

There are two thick army boys with their buzzed heads and hardened eyes. A gay man with a tight, black uniform and beautiful features squirms out of the bathroom. His eyes are fearful and tender and sad. I wonder what he has known. The wire waste-basket is above my knees, spilling out milk cartons and universal McDonald's cups leaking leftover coke. The little girls sing made up songs in the dancing language as the sun flashes into our cramped cabin. I feel God's tender heart.

I actually made it. To Malmô at least. How wonderful it will be to be among people who speak English again. As I was on the bus, watching the neighborhoods blink past in the dark sky, I thought I was in San Rafael again. How odd to forget you are on one side of the world. There is a man in gray, sagging around the edges with hair that is to young for him, flirting cockily with the information woman inside the glass box. His teeth are chipped in front as he smiles. I wonder if she finds them attractive.


feather head

morning doodle inspired by the washing of a down mummy bag the mice got to... safety pins do not a patch make. wahoo for cleaning out a feathery washer drum!

on a side note, the man pad of the garage is pretty complete! and livable! for people who aren't afraid of sleeping bag-destroying rodentia!

also, september is finally over. life is slowly coming back. as long as we stop having 90-degree weather, i will survive. and my house will be clean. post-summer clean.

also, my dog is mostly blind. which is sad. she seems okay with it, though. as far as i can tell. siah loves on her quite excessively. now that he is ridiculously mobile and can throw nearly anything, they are getting along relatively well. sometimes there is a lull in the mania and we find ourselves with some sweet, rockwellian moments. sometimes...